I Was Not There

The morning they set out from home
I was not there to comfort them
the dawn was innocent with snow in mockery-
it is not true
the dawn was neutral
was immune
their shadows threaded it
too soon they were relieved that it had come
I was not there to comfort them

One told me that my father spent a day in prison
long ago he did not tell me
that he went
what difference does it make now
when he set out
when he came home
I was not there to comfort him
and now I have no means to know
of what I was kept ignorant

Both my parents died in camps
I was not there to comfort them
I was not there
they were alone
my mind refuses to conceive the life
the death they must have known
I must atone because I live
I could not have saved them from death
the ground is neutral underneath

Every child must leave it’s home
time gathers life impartially
I could have spared them nothing
since I was too young-
it is true they might have lived to succour me
and none shall say in my defense
had I been there to comfort them
it would have made no difference

— Karen Gershon

Karen Gershon

British poet Karen Gershon (Kaethe Löwenthal) was born in Bielefeld, Germany in 1923. After Kristallnacht (September 9-10, 1938), she was sent to England with the Kindertransport. Her parents died in a Nazi prison camp in Riga, Latvia.